ok well lets see what has happened since I was last with you all? I was living in the country and then I got Pregnant again. then this last summer my 2 year old fell on a screw driver .....(whole other post there lol ) then we moved to town to an amazing house. and then my 2 year old fell and hit his nose on the window sill and hurt it. then everything went fine for a while and then I had baby #6 and now I am on post partum recovery lol. im having a hard time staying down though. i feel ok till i over do things . I can stand long enough to do some dishes or cook a meal but then i am done . so i over did it this week cause i went up stairs and cleaned one of the kids rooms and finally set up one of the bunk beds lol. today i walked a bunch and now I'm so tired i just want to sleep for a week. i am hoping that this time around that i will be able to BF till he is at least a year old. but we will see . i have never been able to before . i always get told to supplement and then BF just fizzles out. but i am determined since this is my last chance to do it.
I have also been doing a bunch of healing emotionally from my past. ( again a whole other post). that has been fun. I have started learning its ok to put limits to not over do it when helping others. take time to care for yourself while your helping others. ill try to see you next week.
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Alright here we go.......A new journey . I have been being told that i need to talk to someone about the things in
my head so I'm going to try to just get it out of my head and see if that helps . now I'm not talking about ranting on how my husband made me mad today or how the kids are totally ticking me off . but I am going to start telling my life story for a bit. now I'm gonna try and not bore you with lots of details of when I was a kid . I'm going to start about 8 years ago maybe a little bit more like 13 years ago . I was graduating from high school . we had just moved back to nampa to help care for my grandfather. it was thanksgiving and my amazing aunt brought a pecan pie to thanks giving dinner. and she started bragging about this guy that went to her church that had made this pie for us. I was so excited (its my favorite pie) and i didn't like it. it had more cinnamon in it then what i liked . so I told my aunt and she went back home and told him that so he decided that he never wanted to meet me. I was fine with that cause I had more important things on my mind then guys. I was going to be a youth pastor and stop abortion and help my dad at his new church. so never thought of it again . in a few months my aunt tried again by mentioning that I should come visit her and meet this guy. I said no. I moved with my family to Oregon to help dad and started collage. in 2009 I started worrying that I was NEVER going to find my future husband . I had known from the age of 4 that i was going to be a stay at home mom and home school my kids. it was never part of the picture. I had been going to school for a year and not one guy had hit on me . I started on e Harmony and that for the most part flopped lol although I did meet one of my best friends on there lol so in late 2010 My aunt texted me from the pie guys phone while they where at church. we laughed about it and i told her that "he was going to kill her!" and at that point He had got his phone back and replied to me that yeah she was going to die lol we started texting to come up with a plan to get back at her for trying to get us together again. we ended up texting daily and days turned into weeks , weeks turned into months. after a few weeks we decided that we might be in love with each other so we made plans to meet. we made plans to stay with my aunt. we got there at 2 am and pie guy was there. with flowers and his childhood bear. we spent every day that week together. when I got back home to Oregon we kept talking and after a little time we decided that yes we did love one another and that we wanted to get married. we had spent a lot of time talking about our future and what it would be like to get married and have a family and he was fine with everything that I wanted , my staying home , homeschooling, lots of kids. all of it. so a year later in 2011 we got married. and in 3 months we got pregnant. after a few days of the happiness follows finding out your expecting we had a bad day . we had lost the baby. i cried for weeks and then after a few weeks of the miscarriage we had a 2nd pregnancy test. we waited a little bit to make the announcement just in case this one didn't take either. after a few weeks we went to a midwife and she tried to listen for a heart beat and couldn't find it . she went ahead and informed me that she thought that I was making it up and fooling myself into thinking i was pregnant when i wasn't . we left for another opinion. the next midwife we went to conformed that i was expecting . we went to all the midwife appointments and everything, after 4 months I came to the realization that I needed my mother. i had a feeling that this wasn't going to be an easy pregnancy. so we moved from Kimberly Idaho to nampa to be closer to my family . after 2 weeks of living with mom and dad we got our own place , we found a new midwife and started going to appointments , after 31 weeks i started having complications. Tuesday i started showing signs of early labor and went to the hospital . they checked me and sent me home . i was on bed rest . on Wednesday my mom and the girls( my sisters and grandma) wanted to go to lunch and invited me to go with them I figured i was home alone and needed to eat anyways, so I decided to tag along. that ended up being a bad decision cause that about 8 pm we went to bed and i was having bad back pains , at 1 am on Thursday i called my mother and midwife telling them that i hadn't slept yet and i was nausea . so I woke pie guy and we went to the Hospital. they checked me and the Dr was about to send me home and then head nurse came in and told him that i was going into labor and that he was going to send me to the hospital in Boise downtown . ( i was only 31 weeks and 5 days ) they sent me to Boise and got me a room. i hadn't eaten since 6pm on Wednesday. i was sooooo hungry lol . we got there and they gave me some meds to help me sleep through my contractions. at 4 pm Thursday, I was a mother . and my baby was being sent to the nicu. and i was being sent to my room in the other direction. after i had gotten some food in my tummy and had got moved to my room . been seen by the lactation ladies and got my breast pump I was finally able to go down and see my baby girl. she was so small and so perfect. I would spend every day there in that little room with her. i was there no later than 7 am and stayed till 12 am the next morning . pie guy would go to work and come back and spend 2 hours with our baby girl and then we would go a block away to the Ronald McDonald house . I spent every day praying for my marriage and my baby . I sat and read scripture and prayed . Jeremiah 29 :11 "for I know the plans that I have for you declares the lord . plans to prosper and not to harm you plans to give you a hope an a future." and daily my baby would be fine and the nurses were kind and all had faith that all the babies would be fine. so I am sitting here putting kids to bed and I realize that I haven't posted anything for a while
so I thought i could at least update every one on what is going on with us. I am babysitting 2 little girls on top of my five babies. My 2 yo has gained lots of weight so we are taking her in to get checked and make sure nothing is wrong with her and that everything is working the way it is supposed to . I had oral surgery today and had 2 wisdom teeth and 5 others taken out . I have a birthday and dinner to do on Saturday and a cake to make on Friday . I am hoping that I don't over do it like I have a habit of doing lol I have come to the realization that this blog has become a bit of a rant or diary for me and i think it needs to be more than that so I am going to try to do better you guys. pray for me in this journey that I am starting on . Well found out earlier this month at the newest baby cant see up close at all. And older brother has to have glasses too next uear 2 of the 3 girla will have to have them at this point the middle child has the best vision .
Its been ineresting trying to keep the glasses on the boys its fairly easy with the 4 year old but the 6 month old just likes to chew on them lol. Its going to be a long road but probably one of the smoothest ones yet. Sitting here thinking and working on a mental todo list. Got all the kids asleep 30 min ago. Just chilling now. But at the same time "the voices" are reminding me of all the stuff I failed at today. Its almost more than I can bear. I try to do all the things stay at home mom's are supposed to do and all the things that homeschool moms are supposed to do but i end most nights like tonight feeling like I have failed and waisted yet another day. ...........oh well i geuss ....in the words of Scarlett o'hare "after all tomorrow is another day"
i was standing not squating in front of him lol.
im learning ......er ... relearning to look for the silver lining in everyday. yeah there are still 12 of us living togeather and yeah non of us can afourd to live this winter not togeather. but we have food and heat anf can get to walmart to see 11 foot minions. so yeah thats what i got lol well today was as most of you know the solar eclipse and yes like some of you i took my kids and their special glasses and taped them on to paper plates so they didn't slip and then strapped them to the kids faces and the babies sat in the stroller with there back to the sun . and we stood in the yard for over an hour looking at the sun. boy does my neck hurt!!! now that its all over i am sitting here thinking the angels in heaven must be laughing at us today . i mean they see stuff all the time like this and here we are throwing parties and festivals and such for something that happens EVERY YEAR!!!!! like for reals this happens EVERY YEAR!! why is it such a big deal then?????
well I know it has been a long time since I have written. and for that I apologize. Things have gotten so crazy in our lives right now I now have a 4 year old and almost two year old .I've got a 9 month old trying to crawl popping teeth out left and right. my family just opened a restaurant and so everybody is working in that including me I am the official babysitter flowered restaurant so I'm babysitting my brothers 2 kids my sister's new baby and on top of all that I am now 15 weeks pregnant with baby number four. in spite of all of the good things going on in this crazy hectic stressed out live my son seems to be allergic to the Sun and the baby wipes that I have been buying for the last 4 years.
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AuthorI am a mother of 4, who doesn't believe in birth control , I have been married for 6 years . I was home schooled and am homeschooling my children as well. I use homeopathic remedies rather then go to the doctor. I use essential oils and love to just be me. this is my crazy life! Archives
May 2019
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