well things are changing again. i am selling pampered chef now and young living essentail oils and i am pregnant again. baby number 4 is due in january. the hubby got a promotion and raise. so soon my van will be fixed. and in all of this i still have to hide in the bathroom so i can thank God for hisvhand in all of it. and pray for the straingth i am going to need to get through all of it lol. why is that the hardest part?? remembering to thank Him. not just forvthe big stuff or the stuff we need but even for the little stuff like my3 year old finaly potty training. or the things you dont really think you want till you have it. like being pregnant again after just having a baby 6 months ago. but yet we still need to thank Him. cause He knows what He is doing. we dont!
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well this last week spring seems to have truly sprung. my nephew was born, and the cows across the street have lots of babies running around. and we started walking a lot more cause the sun is out and it's warm. now to start some new cleaning habits.
well today seems to be the day for blogging. my sister started a blog and my mother wrote on her blog and my aunt did hers earlier in the weekend. I have been having a hard time getting going on this preschool homeschooling. my preschooler is all "gung Ho" for it and daily asks me "mommy can we some school. " we did cutting and stamping today and I gave her a real camera. so maybe we will start doing some "scrapbook schooling "? I'm thinking lab books kinda but in a big old scrapbook. IDK we will have to see how this plays out lol. Easter went well. we spent it at my folks house and then went on Monday to the Easter candy sale at Walmart. should have seen that coming!!!! the kids loved there Easter Bunnys!!! maybe a little to much?!?!
we have almost gotten our new place unpacked. and just in time too cause my brother and sister in-law are having a baby soon so there LO in coming to stay with us. now just to get myself motivated to entertain her and my lo's and not give into the temptation to just put in an educational movie lol. this little girl...... she is the happiest girl in the world.... it doesn't matter what happens or what's going on she is just always happy.
I wish I could be that happy. scripture says for us to be like a child. I really wish I could. well. here it is another 3 months have gone by and I am just now posting.
do you ever wonder why God plans psomething or what His plan is? I will admit I do. here recently I have been asking why a lot and wondering what's next. here I am a mother of 3 age 27 and I feel like my life is just a huge rollercoaster. I have no idea as to were I'm going or why. we got evicted from our place 3 months ago and now have a new place but we had a rough transition. we stayed with my folks for a while till we found a place and now here we are in the new one and I can't seem to get a handle on things. I'm trying to get unpacked and I can't find any motivation let alone the brackets for the book shelves. at least the kids and pets have adjusted well. we have felt with a storage unit mouse that came home in my boxes. my cat decided to become Garfield or at least his cousin. lol. a good thing about this move is I am closer to some of my cousins and my parents and some of my dearest friends. well enough about that. baby is fed and the 1 yo is asleep again so I better get some rest. I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. plans to prosper and not to harm you. plans to give you a hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11 well here is it Dec 20th. my little Hannah has been here for a whole month. and we are still not used to the new addition. I am still trying to find common ground with the other kids and with the husband . my oldest still doesn't understand why I need her help all the time. and why she has to get things for her self or why she can't have mommy all the time.
my son doesn't understand why mommyvcant hold both girls and him all at the same time. or why he has to stop chewing on the green "passy". my brain is still relying to much on my husband for help. and the way things used to be. with him working a new job and working at night's it's not realistic for me to rely on him so much. I am trying to get myself to the single-but-married mom aditude were I know I'm not single but I could be if needed. don't get me wrong I love my husband more then anything in the world. and because I love him and he is trying so hard to take care of us as well as do what he is called to do. I feel like I shouldn't ask so much of him. he hates it when I say anything about it. but I feel like if he can work 3 jobs and take classes and teach Sunday School then I should be able to care for the kids, jeep the house clean and keep things organized. but it doesn't happen. care for the kids but my house is always trashed and anything but organized. this may be a job that I need help with (getting organized) I clean when I have a few minutes or when I know that people are coming over. but only the places I know people are going to see. so my upstairs is always trashed. and my spare room is always trashed and so is the closet under the stairs. I still have boxes that need unpacked from when we moved in here in September. does it ever get easier? will my life always be dirty diapers and messy floors? is it even worth trying to clean? should I just become a hermit? am I strong enough try and homeschool these critters? yes! these are the thoughts that keep me up at night! (well these and a bunch about Elmo and the cat and the hat lol) but then I look through the photos in my phone and remember that YES!!!!!! Its worth it, yes It will be filled with messes and smells, but scripture says that I Am strong enough with the help of God. "for I can do all things through Him who gives me strength . " phillipians 4:13 well, this week has brought lots of ups and downs, new stresses, old stresses starting back up. it's just been nuts. last week the whole family was sick with a stomach bug (all but the baby) . baby is dealing with thrush and not gaining weight fast enough for the doctors. she was a little tongue tied so the had to clip her frenulim (that little skin thing under your tongue)
the husband got a new job this week so I have been single parenting this week. lol I ended up calling my mother after taking all 3 kids to the doctor yesterday just to see how she did this lol and then she reminded me of the age difference between my sister and me lol(8 years) so she had it easier than me. I think I am through the PPD . today we made cookies and "painted" them with chocolate. the kids loved it they got chocolate all over themselves. I had to give them bathes. I started going back to choir tonight as well. it was good to be back doing something I enjoy. well it's late and have a busy day planned tomorrow. day 12 with the new baby. the oldest seems to have adjusted well it's just the younger one who is still having Issues with sharing mommy and daddy. she is gaining weight well. I'm finally able to nurse with this baby. I haven't been able to nurse any of my kids. I'm so glad to be able to do it this time. I think that i'm starting to get past this funk I have been in..... maybe......... looking forward to being alone with my husband this week . a friend of mine has volunteered to take care of the kids for a few hrs so we can spend time together. well looks like I need to go fix dinner so we can head to church soon. day 12 with the new baby. the oldest seems to have adjusted well it's just the younger one who is still having Issues with sharing mommy and daddy.
she is gaining weight well. I'm finally able to nurse with this baby. I haven't been able to nurse any of my kids. I'm so glad to be able to do it this time. I think that i'm starting to get past this funk I have been in..... maybe......... looking forward to being alone with my husband this week . a friend of mine has volunteered to take care of the kids for a few hrs so we can spend time together. well looks like I need to go fix dinner so we can head to church soon. I keep reminding myself that I will someday be glad that my kids are close in age. even though right now it's just annoying.
the 3 year old it going through some fazes that I kinda wish she would have just skipped. like throwing fits, or the whole "why" thing, oh my favorite one is "I can't !" .so I ask her to get ....... oh say....brothers bottle. and she looks at me and says "I can't " and then comes up with a reason as to why she can't do what I have asked of her. today it was cause she found a new bruse on her leg so she couldnt hand me a clean baby diper for Hannah. the 1 year old is learning how to walk as well as to not scream. (it's not funny to scream when mommy is right there!) he has like 5 teeth coming in all at the same time and he is out growing baby food. baby Hannah is doing great! she is growing and drinking more and drinking longer. so she is trying to catch up with the other two. hubby may have a new job starting today. soooooo I may start being alone with the kids a lot more. I'm kinda scared but at the same time I'm excited to get a rutein started. I'm trying to get past this ppd that seems to be trying to set in. I'm kinda afraid to go to the Dr but at the same time I'm kinda afraid not to. oh well such is life...... First Sunday in church after having Hannah. did pretty good I think, it was a good service and I got to see all my friends and show off baby.
I'm thinking I might have a little bit of post pardum. not to the point were I don't want to care for my kids. but just feeling down and crying for no reason. (a lot of u have probably already had that thought, after reading the last few posts.) I'm not OK with this. I have always been able to get over depression and anxiety pretty quickly . but this time I just can't seem to shake it. I'm trying, don't get me wrong. it's helpful to have the hubby home but at the same time I think if he would just go to work I could get through this better and faster. I keep thinking that him being home is just mentally inablibing me to stay down. IDK I just keep thinking and thinking and thinking and I can't get my mind to shut off and then I start to stress and then I cry and then the kids need something and that just seems to make me cry more. I have been told that a friend of mine has volunteered to take the kids when I need them to. I might be taking them up on that this week. well time to start my brain to figure out lunch. |
AuthorI am a mother of 4, who doesn't believe in birth control , I have been married for 6 years . I was home schooled and am homeschooling my children as well. I use homeopathic remedies rather then go to the doctor. I use essential oils and love to just be me. this is my crazy life! Archives
May 2019
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