well here is it Dec 20th. my little Hannah has been here for a whole month. and we are still not used to the new addition. I am still trying to find common ground with the other kids and with the husband . my oldest still doesn't understand why I need her help all the time. and why she has to get things for her self or why she can't have mommy all the time.
my son doesn't understand why mommyvcant hold both girls and him all at the same time. or why he has to stop chewing on the green "passy". my brain is still relying to much on my husband for help. and the way things used to be. with him working a new job and working at night's it's not realistic for me to rely on him so much. I am trying to get myself to the single-but-married mom aditude were I know I'm not single but I could be if needed. don't get me wrong I love my husband more then anything in the world. and because I love him and he is trying so hard to take care of us as well as do what he is called to do. I feel like I shouldn't ask so much of him. he hates it when I say anything about it. but I feel like if he can work 3 jobs and take classes and teach Sunday School then I should be able to care for the kids, jeep the house clean and keep things organized. but it doesn't happen. care for the kids but my house is always trashed and anything but organized. this may be a job that I need help with (getting organized) I clean when I have a few minutes or when I know that people are coming over. but only the places I know people are going to see. so my upstairs is always trashed. and my spare room is always trashed and so is the closet under the stairs. I still have boxes that need unpacked from when we moved in here in September. does it ever get easier? will my life always be dirty diapers and messy floors? is it even worth trying to clean? should I just become a hermit? am I strong enough try and homeschool these critters? yes! these are the thoughts that keep me up at night! (well these and a bunch about Elmo and the cat and the hat lol) but then I look through the photos in my phone and remember that YES!!!!!! Its worth it, yes It will be filled with messes and smells, but scripture says that I Am strong enough with the help of God. "for I can do all things through Him who gives me strength . " phillipians 4:13
0 Comments
well, this week has brought lots of ups and downs, new stresses, old stresses starting back up. it's just been nuts. last week the whole family was sick with a stomach bug (all but the baby) . baby is dealing with thrush and not gaining weight fast enough for the doctors. she was a little tongue tied so the had to clip her frenulim (that little skin thing under your tongue)
the husband got a new job this week so I have been single parenting this week. lol I ended up calling my mother after taking all 3 kids to the doctor yesterday just to see how she did this lol and then she reminded me of the age difference between my sister and me lol(8 years) so she had it easier than me. I think I am through the PPD . today we made cookies and "painted" them with chocolate. the kids loved it they got chocolate all over themselves. I had to give them bathes. I started going back to choir tonight as well. it was good to be back doing something I enjoy. well it's late and have a busy day planned tomorrow. day 12 with the new baby. the oldest seems to have adjusted well it's just the younger one who is still having Issues with sharing mommy and daddy. she is gaining weight well. I'm finally able to nurse with this baby. I haven't been able to nurse any of my kids. I'm so glad to be able to do it this time. I think that i'm starting to get past this funk I have been in..... maybe......... looking forward to being alone with my husband this week . a friend of mine has volunteered to take care of the kids for a few hrs so we can spend time together. well looks like I need to go fix dinner so we can head to church soon. day 12 with the new baby. the oldest seems to have adjusted well it's just the younger one who is still having Issues with sharing mommy and daddy.
she is gaining weight well. I'm finally able to nurse with this baby. I haven't been able to nurse any of my kids. I'm so glad to be able to do it this time. I think that i'm starting to get past this funk I have been in..... maybe......... looking forward to being alone with my husband this week . a friend of mine has volunteered to take care of the kids for a few hrs so we can spend time together. well looks like I need to go fix dinner so we can head to church soon. I keep reminding myself that I will someday be glad that my kids are close in age. even though right now it's just annoying.
the 3 year old it going through some fazes that I kinda wish she would have just skipped. like throwing fits, or the whole "why" thing, oh my favorite one is "I can't !" .so I ask her to get ....... oh say....brothers bottle. and she looks at me and says "I can't " and then comes up with a reason as to why she can't do what I have asked of her. today it was cause she found a new bruse on her leg so she couldnt hand me a clean baby diper for Hannah. the 1 year old is learning how to walk as well as to not scream. (it's not funny to scream when mommy is right there!) he has like 5 teeth coming in all at the same time and he is out growing baby food. baby Hannah is doing great! she is growing and drinking more and drinking longer. so she is trying to catch up with the other two. hubby may have a new job starting today. soooooo I may start being alone with the kids a lot more. I'm kinda scared but at the same time I'm excited to get a rutein started. I'm trying to get past this ppd that seems to be trying to set in. I'm kinda afraid to go to the Dr but at the same time I'm kinda afraid not to. oh well such is life...... |
AuthorI am a mother of 4, who doesn't believe in birth control , I have been married for 6 years . I was home schooled and am homeschooling my children as well. I use homeopathic remedies rather then go to the doctor. I use essential oils and love to just be me. this is my crazy life! Archives
May 2019
Categories |